“Why do you have depression?”- they asked

”Why do you have depression”? - they asked?

That question stayed with me.
Why do we always need to know the why?
Why do we reach for logic when what is needed most of all is compassion and love?

I sat with this question often enough myself, trying to understand, thinking it would bring me relief. When it comes from the outside, I don’t need to hold it again. It can feel heavy, almost startling-like something tender being touched too quickly.

Depression is complex and there will never just be one factor that leads to it. So how would you even answer that question? And sometimes, the kindest thing we can offer isn’t an answer, but a softer presence.

What if healing doesn’t begin with understanding why?

What if it begins with being met - without judgment, without explanation, without needing to justify the pain?

Not everything needs to make sense to be real.
Not everything needs logic to deserve care.

Some experiences ask for gentleness, not analysis.
Presence, not fixing.
Compassion, not conclusions.

Maybe the most healing question isn’t “Why is this happening?”
But “What do you need right now?” “Is there anything I can do for you?”

___________________________________________________________________________________________

I want to raise awareness for a beautiful suicide prevention project called Reasons To Stay https://www.reasonstostay.co.uk, which supports those struggling and offers hope for anyone feeling alone.

And for anyone wanting to continue exploring these reflections and learning to meet yourself with gentleness, you can subscribe to my newsletter below-I’d love to hold that space with you.